Key points:
- While signs of religious trauma are often blamed on clergy, not much has gone into researching the trauma many pastors live with.
- Clergy experience religious trauma in their local churches as well as in the denominational system.
- Mentoring, coaching and counseling can help clergy deal with their trauma.
Photo courtesy of the author.
Commentaries
Religious trauma is physical, emotional or spiritual harm inflicted on a person by religious doctrine, organizations or other people.
Clergy sexual abuse, cults or conversion camps often come to mind, but it is far more pervasive. Women being told to stay in abusive relationships because divorce is un-biblical, or that their fertility issue will be healed when “God thinks they are ready to be a mother.” Children who are raised to fear the world outside their faith, yet are responsible to “save” everyone they meet from eternal damnation. Our queer friends who battle religious judgment on a regular basis, often from those closest to them.
While the depression, anxiety, and fears that can be signs of religious trauma are often blamed on clergy, not much has gone into researching the religious trauma so many of our clergy live with.
Religious trauma in clergy is complicated, and as with all trauma, looks different for everyone who experiences it.
Clergy are prone to secondary traumatic stress or trauma from supporting others through traumatic experiences. Where most first responders have required counseling after traumatic events, clergy just … go home and continue on.
The continual efforts to help people, or being unable to help people, can compound into trauma responses. Compliance with a system that sometimes acts unjustly can cause moral injury. A crisis of faith and spiritual development can look and feel strikingly similar, and clergy often have no one to work through that with. Questioning one’s faith can quickly turn into a shaming with the wrong spiritual director or lead to a panic with the wrong district superintendent.
In the years I have worked with clergy, two of the most common sources of religious trauma for clergy are traumatic experiences in the local church and traumatic experiences with the denominational system.
In the local church
For many United Methodist pastors, the first few months at your new appointment are coming to a close.
For some, leaving your previous appointment was sad, as you moved from a positive and uplifting appointment, with great hope of repeating the successes.
For others, you are leaving wounded, hurting, having been taken down by a church or a person who questioned your authority, calling and abilities. Maybe it was a known “clergy killer” church that is just allowed to eat up clergy and spit them out, with the clergy given direction from the cabinet to “just keep everyone happy so no one leaves,” when all parties involved would probably be healthier if there was some separation.
Perhaps your heart races with anxiety as you prepare for the staff-parish relations committee meeting, which was always the source of misery at your last appointment. Maybe you are having writer’s block, unable to recover from having shared your heart with your previous congregation, only to have your vulnerabilities used against you. Nightmares? Depression? Hopelessness? People pleasing? Inability to set boundaries? All of these can be trauma responses.
When we counsel someone who has left an abusive relationship, my guess would be that we all advise them to not enter into another relationship until they have had therapy and taken time to rediscover themselves outside of that abusive relationship. But when we are clergy, and the abusive relationship is with a church, we can’t take a break. We have bills to pay and insurance to provide for our families. We have to move right into the next church relationship without time to heal or rediscover ourself and our calling outside the damaging environment.
Many articles about harm caused by the church or church members start with a platitude like “give it up to God” or “leave it behind and start fresh.” While prayer is a powerful tool, we know we can’t pray away cancer or mental illness or addiction. We can’t pray away trauma either. And we can’t leave trauma in the past. It lives in us, in our bodies and our souls, bursting forth at the slightest indication that the traumatic situation is about to repeat itself, resulting in those trauma responses.
Clergy need time and space to heal, and the support of a trauma-informed clergy coach or a counselor with an understanding of religious doctrine and systems to guide the process.
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We need to give ourselves grace, not giving into the pressure to just assume everything will be different in the new church, when our bodies and souls are not ready yet. We are not punishing our new church members by gently wading into the water, we are protecting ourselves. And that is OK to do.
In the denominational system
As United Methodist elders, we have committed ourselves to the institution of the church in unique ways. We have handed over basic life decisions, like where we live, to a system we hope we can trust.
But what do we do when we can’t trust that system or the people who represent it? Deacons are committed to a system that often seems to forget they exist. Local pastors are at the mercy of the numbers, having a position only if there is a shortage of ordained clergy.
All of us give ourselves to the system, trusting in it. When it violates our trust, when it harms us, or we see it harm a colleague, it is a wound that goes beyond a bad boss yelling at us. One, we can’t really quit the job. Two, it’s more than a job, it’s a calling from God, as we have been told from the beginning of our ordination journey. When the system presents itself as one of God’s representatives on earth, then the trauma from the system can feel like trauma inflicted by God.
Kristen R. Hydinger and a team of researchers from Boston University conducted a fascinating study in 2024 on clergy trauma and well-being. Presented in the journal Pastoral Psychology, the team consolidated 82 studies on clergy wellness into three areas — individual, relational and institutional — to develop an understanding of “risk and protective factors related to burnout, trauma impacts, spiritual distress, and other occupational hazards and/or factors associated with well-being and flourishing, over and above distress reduction.”
The study concluded that no amount of prayer, taking walks in woods, reading books or enjoying a cup of tea can prevent or heal the trauma that clergy face from the practice of ministry. It did identify that, “Mentoring and coaching, especially in early vocational development, played a key role in shaping vocational identity and navigating challenges.”
In working with clergy early in their ministry, I have seen just how unhealthy so many of our churches and systems are, and the lack of support and education the system is providing. Many Residence in Ministry-type programs for candidates for ordination are focused on spiritual disciplines and what the clergy do for the church, not how the clergy can navigate challenges and develop trauma-resistant practices.
Many candidates report that the RIM programs are “useless” and “patronizing.” Others talk about the difficulties of the RIM events due to the expectation that everyone be extroverted, the demand to share personal feelings and beliefs with virtual strangers, and even safety concerns, like bedroom doors not locking at some retreat centers. For those who have experienced physical trauma, the inability to lock a door can be a trigger for trauma responses, which can prevent full engagement in the programing.
Trauma-informed clergy care
From the Hydinger study again: “Religious leaders need supportive spaces and resources to process the toll of their work, connect with others around shared challenges, and prioritize ongoing formation.” Are we providing these vital spaces in safe ways for our clergy, especially as they are just beginning?
Our leaders need to take an active look at the support being provided to clergy, especially in those first few years of ministry. We know the strain those early years of ministry put on clergy and the consequences to us all when we lose gifted clergy due to the difficulties of the system.
If you are experiencing mental health issues, please reach out for support. Trauma-informed clergy coaches and counselors can help navigate the unique space we are in. Religious trauma can impact us all, regardless of our commitment to our faith or to the church we have given ourselves over to.
Boyce is the founder of Whole Soul Consulting, a nonprofit extension ministry providing healing for those experiencing religious trauma, and trainings for clergy and the mental health community about how to identify, heal and prevent religious trauma. She is an elder from the Mountain Sky Conference. She can be found at WholeSoulConsulting.org or [email protected].
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